Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize