Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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