she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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