I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
