We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
4 words: hood of his car
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
