Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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