I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My vagina just recognized that song.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
