I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
