Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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