I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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