considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
