i think my tv is drunk
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
