How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
