in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
