Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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