At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I cut my penus on the lid.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
