definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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