i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
