I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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