Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
