i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
