It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
