home. puking in laundry basket.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
