It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
please come you make the beer taste better
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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