So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
