I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i came on her dog
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
