you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
