Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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