is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
