She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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