return my video game
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
