Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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