In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Watching her eat just hurts me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
