At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
