are you still at the devil's house?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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