How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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