There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
