the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
