i would punch a child for taco bell
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I love you.
Bad choice
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
