Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
