My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
