Where did you get a picture of my penis
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
