Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize