Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
