therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize