Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
