are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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