...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
