yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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