He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
