she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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