Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
