lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
