the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
