its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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