I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you still have your period?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
