i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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